I was eating fine. I even dropped a few pounds sticking to the 45 minute walk and no cookie plan.

However, Phillip decided he didn't know what love was, and we broke up.

So I reverted back to my breakup panacea of chocolate, Ben & jerry's, Red Sugar Poetry, several cigarettes a day, and foreign films. La Haine is amazing.

So then I gained it all back.

However. I decided to move this summer, and look super good.

And I don't want to buy a size five shorts. I'm going to buy size four.

Which is promising.

well damn

So Phillup brought in a ship full of stolen pastries, bread, butter, and sausage. I told him I was living in poverty levels and couldn't afford all that much, so he became my savior. Yesterday -oatmeal -egg and cheese -two hot pockets my friend is participating in the april 25th invisible children fund raising. if you'd like to save children in uganda from being kidnapped and killed, please try to help her out her link is below this sentence http://ic.stayclassy.org/member/ic-fundraising?fcid=54918

What I'm Not

Although I am obsessed with the human body. Although I admire the graceful thin winged ballerina and the courageous model with lollypop stick arms...This is not me.
I love form. I love health.
I appreciate my life and I wouldn't do anything to ruin it.
There's been times where I didn't eat for weeks and YES i did lose weight, but a month later I gained it all back.
I've seen dreadful pictures of cellulite tornadoes and thighs that could have struck Texas down...but my main GOAL is to become completely comfortable with who I am.
And that comfort isn't going to come from fasts, vegan plans, or sweating so hard I pass out.

It's one step at a time. It's eating better and walking a little bit further...I'm not trying to starve.
Though if you are trying to starve I understand where your coming from, it's just the wrong cup of tea.

odus and flying rabbits

all right. so.
for the past couple of days I've been eating like mad. Luckily there's only been oranges, apples and oatmeal in my closet, so it hasn't been mad junk. It's been health treasures.
Either way.
I started the morning off with honey-nut-cheerios
Phillups coming in today.
I want a tattoo. I think I'm going to draw it myself. Arm or upper back?
Yesterday I had a sharpie in my hand, and I was giving party-goers tattoos left and right, and they came out pretty cool.

LENT. I figured it out. There's a giant mountain by my house, and I think for Lent my goal is to climb it at least once a day.

k, so then anna bought be dinner

and now its

breakfast-peach cup. banana

lunch-bagel with honey cream cheese

dinner-cottage cheese/half of an mnm cookie

...and pudding

i should really consider giving up sweets for lent

well i cleared everything up. sort of with odus. now i just feel like an idiot.
he's such a lovely boy. i really do want the best for him.

food though!
I walked three miles today listening to the same three songs over again
regina spektor-blue lips
local natives--who knows, who cares
carolina chocolate drops-corn bread/ butter beans

food.
breakfast-cup o peaches/ 1 banana
lunch-onion bagel with cream cheese/ honey
dinner?- because of my starving artist situation i'll probably drink some coffee
don't yell at me! this isn't intentional. i have to get paid before i buy groceries

But there's all the small details, fine lines, and nerves that keeps me from really exclaiming my anxiety.
this has nothing to do with food.
though i am going to make some oatmeal.